Quotes to Make You Think

These also make great signature files! Additional collected quotes are under the blog’s quotes category. Drop a comment to suggest something.

Organized alphabetically by first major word.

Anonymous/Unknown Author


Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and has started growing in the middle.

Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the flame of a single candle.

Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Always try to be modest. And be darn proud of it!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.


Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

The best part about procrastination is that you are never bored because you have all kinds of things that you should be doing.

Blessed are the pessimistic for they hath made backups.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.


Children may close their ears to advice, but they keep their eyes open to example.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it’s stopped snowing.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

The customer is always right but not always pleasant.


Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

Don’t hate yourself in the morning – sleep till noon.

Duct tape is a lot like the Force. It has a Dark Side, it has a Light Side, and it binds the galaxy together…


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Endeavor to so live that when you die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Every time I think I’ve hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lessons afterward.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.


Few women admit their age, Fewer men act it!

A filing cabinet is where papers get lost alphabetically.

Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired.


Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like a slacker.

A good test for conversation: if you wouldn’t write it and sign your name to it, don’t say it.

Good resolutions are often checks drawn on an account with insufficient funds.

The great essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.


Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

The Haves and the have-nots can often be traced back to the Dids and the Did-Nots.

The highest reward for man’s toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand….


I don’t exaggerate. I just remember bigger than most people.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I have a mind like a steel trap – rusted open.

I haven’t lost my mind. It’s backed up on tape somewhere.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don’t succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If both of us thought alike, one of us would not be necessary.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

IF Pro is the Opposite of Con, What Is The Opposite of Progress? Congress!!

If you’re going in the wrong direction, God allows u-turns.

If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to… expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

If you don’t learn from your mistakes, what’s the point of making them?

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you were somebody else, would you want to be friends with you?

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It has been determined that research causes cancer in rats.

It is harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge.

It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered.

It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong.

It will do no good to get on the right track if you are headed in the wrong direction.


Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.


Keep your ideals high enough to inspire you and low enough to encourage you.


Language is a wonderful thing. It can be used to express our thoughts, to conceal our thoughts, or to replace thinking.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

Leaders go down in history — some farther down than others.

Leadership has been defined as the ability to hide your panic from others.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate.

Life is complex: part real, part imaginary.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.


Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

The measure of man’s real character is what he would do it he knew he would never get caught.

The mistake a lot of politicians make is forgetting they’ve been appointed and thinking they’ve been anointed.

The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.

The more you know, the more you know you ought to know.


Never miss a good chance to shut up.

No matter how far money goes, it still can’t go as far as the next paycheck.

No matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.


Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

One of the mysteries of life is how the boy who wasn’t considered good enough to marry the daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

One reason folks get into trouble is that trouble usually starts out being fun.

One trouble with the world is that so many people who stand up vigorously for their rights fall down miserably on their duties.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.


People who do the world’s real work don’t usually wear neckties.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Practice makes perfect, so be careful what you practice.

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

The quickest way to get a lot of undivided attention is to make a mistake.

People who wonder where the younger generation is headed for would do well to consider where it came from.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.



The really productive ups and downs are getting up in the morning and down to work.

The reason we never see ourselves as others see us is that we’d never believe what we saw.

A reckless driver is a person who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.


Save time… see it my way.

Some people get lost in thought because it’s unfamiliar territory.

Some people spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

A sure-fire formula for making a good speech: have a good beginning and a good ending–and keep them as close together as possible.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can’t spell.


Tact is the ability to close your mouth before somebody else wants to.

There can’t be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

There is nothing so comforting as the patter of little children’s feet about a home, because the moment the sound stops one knows that they are up to something they shouldn’t be.

There is nothing that upsets a person quite as much as having company drop in and see the house looking as it usually does.

There needs to be fewer Republican Senators and fewer Democratic Senators, and many more United States Senators.

Thinking is when your mouth stays shut and your head keeps talking to itself.

This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

Those who complain about the way the ball bounces are usually the ones who dropped it.

Time may be a great healer, but it certainly is no beauty operator.

Trains stop at train stations
Buses stop at bus stations
On my desk is a workstation.

A true friend is one who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.


Usually I try to take it one day at a time, but lately several have attacked me at once…



Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

What most people want these days is less to do, more time to do it, and more pay for not getting it done.

When adults act like children, they are called silly. When children act like adults, they are called delinquent.

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

When our children are old enough not to say or do anything in public to disgrace us, they have reached an age when the things we do and say embarrass them.

A wise man learns from the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Wild horses couldn’t drag a secret out of most women. Unfortunately, women seldom have lunch with wild horses.

With every right, there is a responsibility. Just once, I wish someone would demand his responsibility.

A woman wants one man to meet her every need. A man wants every woman to meet his one need.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t want. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he DOES want.

Work is the easiest thing man has ever invented to escape boredom.

Work like you don’t need money,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
And dance like no one’s watching.



Years wrinkle the skin, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

You are only young once. After that, you have to think up some other excuse.

You can’t keep people from having bad opinions about you, but you can keep them from being true.

You cannot build a reputation on the things you are going to do.

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

You only live once, but if you live right, once is enough.



Comment from a correspondent in Australia on the U.S. political scene: “Thank God you got the Puritans while we only got the convicts.”


93 responses to “Quotes to Make You Think”

  1. John Avatar

    “knowledge, like most things, is best in moderation. Knowing everything means you wouldn’t need to think, and that is very dangerous.”- Lady Friday

  2. OEnone Avatar

    There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.

    It is impossible to love and to be wise.
    –Frances Bacon

    You don’t get ulcers from what you eat. you get them from what’s eating you.

    I’m never gonna say I’m sorry for the essence of my soul.
    –Jonas Berggman

  3. Anony-Mouse Avatar

    “Strong people make as many mistakes as weak people. Difference is that strong people admit their mistakes, laugh at them, learn from them. That is how they become strong.”
    -Richard Needham

  4. Amy Avatar

    We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
    – Albert Einstein

    These are just technologies. Using them does not make you modern, smart, moral, wise, fair, or decent. It just makes you able to communicate, compete, and collaborate farther and faster.
    – Thomas Friedman

    We are moving from:
    “do your own work” to “work with others”
    “just in case” to “just in time” learning
    “hand it in” to “publish it.”
    – Will Richardson

  5. ez Avatar

    The windshield is larger than the rearview mirror because it’s more important to see where you’re headed than to look back at where you have been.

  6. JENNIFER Avatar

    Be truthful in small things because that is what will take you through the bigger things.
    -Jennifer Taylor

  7. sean Avatar

    dont tell me something’s impossible when it says “im possible”

  8. Peg Avatar

    I have some suggestions for you. I’d like some quotes on personal legacy/making a difference/giving back, whatever. Also if you find some on old age or aging that would be great.

  9. Paul Avatar

    never lie in earshot of the truth

  10. Paul Avatar

    o ya, more quantum physics qoutes please

  11. Ez Avatar

    “Be who you are and say what you feel: those that matter won’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter” Dr. Seuss

  12. Russell Avatar

    Excellent stuff!

  13. tasha Avatar

    light travels faster than sound thats why some people appear bright untill you hear them speak!

  14. Peter Knight Avatar

    Brilliant! Many I haven’t heard of: tht’s saying a lot, in the Age of the Internet.

    “… amateur epistemologist …”


  15. Belinda Avatar

    Good, better, best… Never let it rest. Until your good is your better and your better is your best.

  16. Booya Avatar

    The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

  17. Wannabe George Avatar
    Wannabe George

    “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” – George Will

  18. Jen Avatar

    Forget about the people in your past, there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future

  19. Laura Avatar

    “a smile is a curve that sets everything straight”

  20. Writer Dad Avatar

    I just Stumbled on your site. It is wonderful. Thank you. My favorite from the above list: “Those who complain about the way the ball bounces are usually the ones who dropped it.”

  21. Twisted S!ster Avatar
    Twisted S!ster

    Like all people, fifty dollars is worth fifty dollars, even if its dirty, lost, forgotten or treasured. Its worth just as much as the next fifty dollar note.

  22. isaac Avatar

    Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.
    – Groucho Marx

  23. Frankie Wylie Avatar

    in regards to my work:

    They may look at it and say \WOW, that SUCKS!\
    But hey, at least they said WOW.

  24. Lanae Henry Avatar
    Lanae Henry

    if your knowledge is equivalent to your wealth…then your wealth is well earned.

  25. Amy Avatar

    The elevator to success is out of order, you’ll have to take the stairs…
    One step at a time

  26. Skye Avatar

    “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” – i don’t know

    my favourite (which i was surprised to not see on here already):
    “what doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger” – i don’t know

  27. chuck Avatar

    Why do people park in a driveway, and drive in a parkway?

  28. Ron Moehn Avatar

    Great work quote most of us can relate to:

    “My boss tells me that I handle crisis management very well . . . he should know, he creates it!”

  29. eric Avatar

    “somethings are forever, somethings are not, its the things we remember that gave the world shock. they stay in a place in your mind so snug, like who the person was with whom you first made love…”


    and they say rappers aren’t deep thinkers

  30. christine Avatar

    I hate you before I like you. ~Unknown

  31. Ez Avatar

    “While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.”-Henry C. Link

  32. Leena Avatar

    Do the thing that scares you.

  33. Steve Bell Avatar
    Steve Bell

    Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

  34. jenn Avatar

    i really really liked the followin quote from above…
    \Just beacuse someone doesnt love you the way you want them to doesnt mean they dont love you with all they have…\
    one that i really like that isnt above is…
    \Shoot for the moon, at least if you dont make it youll land among the stars..\

  35. Clint Avatar

    No matter how much crap you do to your body to make it look younger (Botox, youth cirems, etc…), your blood knows what time it is. If it’s 9PM you can not make it 9AM.
    -Clint A. Eidson

  36. thorton Avatar

    “Sometimes it takes a stumble to stop a fall.”

  37. Mel Avatar

    “Even the greatest oak was once just a little nut who held its ground.”

    “Cry me a river…build a bridge and get over it.”

    “Cinerella proves that a new pair of shoes can change your life”

    “How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” Dr. Seuss quote

  38. Jon P. B. Avatar
    Jon P. B.

    “Those that fail to plan, plan to fail.”

  39. Shannon Avatar

    “Tell the truth, or have the truth told to you.”

  40. darren Avatar

    The more you try to catch that bird, the further it will fly away.

  41. Stacy Avatar

    \I only know what I hear. I only believe what I see\ -Stacy M. Schaible

  42. eric Avatar

    “tell who your friends are and i’ll tell you who you are”

  43. Chris Avatar

    “Courage is ignorance of the facts.”

  44. Lisa Avatar

    Of course life’s a bitch. If it were easy, it would be a slut.

  45. Kyle Avatar

    “Once trust is lost, it can never be found again!”

  46. Phil Avatar

    A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have. – Barry Goldwater

  47. Phil Avatar

    Majority rule only works if you’re also considering individual rights. Because you can’t have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
    – Larry Flynt

  48. Amber Avatar

    “Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

  49. Shepherd Avatar

    The sun is always shining sometimes you just can’t see it

  50. Braden Robertson Avatar
    Braden Robertson

    you never do what your going to do, you’ve only done what you’ve done, and what you’ve done is probably not what you were going to do before you’ve done it. – Braden Robertson

  51. Larry Avatar

    youll always get what you always got, if you always do what youve always done.

  52. Connie Avatar

    Winners make things happen…Losers let things happen….

  53. Paul J Williams Avatar
    Paul J Williams

    “Life is like a great big crap sandwich. Every day you must take another bite.”

  54. Paul J Williams Avatar
    Paul J Williams

    When in doubt, throw it out!

  55. Rick N Avatar

    “It takes a strong fish to swim upstream any dead one can float with the current”.

  56. Xavior Wernett Avatar
    Xavior Wernett

    Luck is a loser’s excuse for a Winners success.

  57. Sam Avatar

    I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

  58. Joshua Avatar

    Rules used to be made to be broken, now they are a simple guideline for stupid people.

  59. shane Avatar

    It is better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

  60. Kari Avatar

    Smile- it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips!

  61. Kari Avatar

    Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. Either way, it’s quiet!

  62. Gaz, Avatar

    Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.

  63. Gaz, Avatar

    Don’t Believe anything you hear, And only half of what you see!

  64. annaa Avatar

    Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

  65. pratik Avatar

    Some things are best left UNSPOKEN

  66. Diogenes of Sinope Avatar
    Diogenes of Sinope

    As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task.

  67. joshua Haligowski Avatar
    joshua Haligowski

    The Government are just bullies. When a bigger one arises they kick the bully out and become a bigger one.

    1. destany Avatar

      never underestamate the power of dumb people in large numbers.

  68. kristie Avatar

    “Pain is inevitable, misery is a choice” – Ian Tyson

  69. Abhishek Avatar

    Well done is always better then well said………

  70. anne Avatar

    If at first you don’t succeed, call it Version 1.0″ – Bitizen from Tiny Tower

  71. […] Rants, Raves, and Rhetoric v4 · Quotes to Make You ThinkAdditional collected quotes are under the blog’s quotes category. Drop a comment to suggest something. Organized alphabetically by first major word. … […]

  72. Cate Avatar

    The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

  73. […] quotes for Quotes to Make You Think collected over the past […]

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  75. […] main page on quotes is Quotes to Make You Think. Additional ones can be found under […]

  76. […] Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation. Source […]

  77. […] Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lessons afterwards. Source […]

  78. […] Un citat/proverb favorit Thinking is when your mouth stays shut and your head keeps talking to itself. (sursa) […]

  79. Neal Byrd Avatar
    Neal Byrd

    That’s the great thing about standards; there are so many to choose from.

  80. Neal Byrd Avatar
    Neal Byrd

    In typos Veritas.

  81. Leif Holden Avatar
    Leif Holden

    You don’t know what you don’t know so you don’t have, if you knew what you didn’t know, you would have, so to know and not do is really not to know.. Casey combden

  82. Leif Holden Avatar
    Leif Holden

    If a tree thinks it’s taller than another tree, would you call it bigotry?

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